Gold Digger Observer Gifts

"What's the best machine to use to meet hot chicks?"

"And I can't possibly support you, so you won't have to leave all this."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

"I don't do windows."

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

'We're getting closer - That's a goldfish.'

"I asked you to send me over a prospectus!"

International Monetary Conference in Paris- Silver Currency an Unsound Footing

Venezuela: 'He's got Castro's kicking style.'

A Gambling Scene At Pike's Peak, Colorado

"I'm here to gets the gold"

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

Put it in petty cash.

"He's very well off. He's got all the quantities I admire."

"Slow down. This stuff is gold, I’m tellin’ ya! Gold!"

'Cyber mining for bitcoins again?'

'You're too heavy on metals and too light on equities.'

'Something tells me we're in a heap of trouble.'

'We seem to have more money for little luxuries since Timothy started working from home.'

Georgius Agricola: "My interest in gold was enhanced.greatly...help me as I go prospecting in the wilds."

How to find gold.

Avocado Prices

'And I'm pleased to report that your gold futures are panning out.'

Medieval Tabloid. The royal spokesman said everything King Midas touches turns to gold. Gilt by association!

"Curly-Bill! Git over here... nuggets as big as yer corns!"

'It's mine ... all mine! Wonder if there's enough to pay off my student loans.'

"Gee Hank, you've found comedy gold."

'I didn't ask you to help me when it was $90 an ounce, and I didn't ask you to help me when it was $110 an ounce. But when it's $400 an ounce...'

"He was gold prospecting, but since he dropped his phone in the water, he's now phone prospecting."

I.R.S spying on a gold prospector.

'In other news, gold is headed higher, according to some fool who's put every last dollar into gold stocks and futures.'

'Oh yes, it was definitely love at first sight. From the moment I set eyes on his credit rating.'