Going Through A Rough Patch Gifts

Marriage Guidance: 'Next!'

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

Jurassic Country Club.

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

Cashflow - The milkman is here.

'That sure was a disaster of a first date!'

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

"Leftover seeds."

Make do and mend

"If you can stand the cuteness, take a look at my cat."

'Listen... that sound... we're scraping the bottom of the barrel.'

"We will rebuild!"

Sympathetic Friends

'Didn't your doctor tell you that you're not supposed to light the nicotine patches?'

"It's the right drink in the right place at the right time."

"Oh, I'm just riding out the cycle."

If one of us is guilty, the others have to promise to send this photo to him in prison

"I spy with my little eye something heading toward divorce."

'What's with the patch lady?' 'I'm trying to quit sewing.'

Dark cloud.

"Gasp - new nicotine patch...new nicotine patch..."

'He doesn't have enough friends to join the Facebook Generation.'

"Could I interest you in a silver lining?"

'First I lose my job... then my wife leaves me... and now my house burns down! What else could possibly go wrong!?'

Sad girl

Un-scary Scarecrow

"Why do I think we need to see a counselor, John? I'm starting to enjoy talking to telemarketers!"

Santa claus patch

Just quit smoking...But I'm up to nine patches a day.