Going Out To Eat Mugs

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"This place has the best happy hour."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'A cheeky red?'

The Fourth Little Pig

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Your French dip, sir.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Fast food. Even faster food

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"You owe me five bucks."