Restaurant Outings Mugs

"We don’t have to go there — I’m just saying they have good wings at Hooters."

"Don't worry, Jimmy. If I die you'll be taken care of. Quickly."

'Early bird specials'

'Don't rush me. I'm adding up the calories!'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'A cheeky red?'

The Fourth Little Pig

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'Your French dip, sir.'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

La Table

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

Fast food. Even faster food

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"