Goalie Whisperer Gifts

A footballer scores a goal with a back kick while goalie not paying attention.

Braiding a Horse's Tail

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'This goes way beyond just keeping the flies off me...I'm fighting crime now too!'

A Girl and Her Horse

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

"Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken..."

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

'You think you're better than me, don't you?'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

Ezra's purchase of an off-brand gps device meant he'd never get the chance to make his horse drink,

'I don't know why, but my cowboy seems to have an obsession with riding into the sunset...'

Due to public pressure international wildlife groups give the Canada goose the official status of 'annoying.'

Foreigner ready for the hunt

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

"Well, I finally saw a shrink today."

A man selling a horse to an older lady

YOUR HORSE - Poster style outlining horse parts.

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

'Mom, I think it's time I graduated to a full size horse.'

'Let the ball do the work, son.'

Thaddeus was a noble, well respected horse, who was known for his loyalty and never asking 'Are We There Yet?'"

"I just kept feeding him candy."

A Few Common Ailments

"Me, I've quit racing. I was very good at it, but I just couldn't hack the early training sessions..."