Gluten-free Enthusiasts Pillows

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"And for all you people with food allergies, this next song's lyrics contain no gluten or peanuts."

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

'I've never heard of a lactose intolerant cow!'

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

'How do we know he's gluten-free?'

"Is this house gluten-free?"

Gluten-Free Church

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

'Maybe she's gluten intolerant.'

'Is the homework gluten free?'

"It's just a reaction to all that artificial flavoring and artificial sweetening. Now if you just take this synthetic medicine..."

"The gluten's back. And it's pissed."

"Run! It's Armagluten!"

"I'm pretty sure the alcohol neutralizes the gluten."

Independence Day.

'Help! I'm a coeliac get me out of here!'

"Wait! Is it gluten-free?"

"So what did you do before you were married?"

"Yeah, and what's it to you if I am gluten free?"

"It's glutton-free."

Free at last

"Sorry, red wine makes Ralph gluten intolerant intolerant."