Glow Stick Enthusiast Pillows

"Nuclear energy is perfectly safe, I'd bet my third testicle on it!"

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

Disco Bunny.

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

"Honestly, I prefer stick."

You just keep giving.

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

The Depressing Economic Crisis

Museum of Art and Science. Monet. "Claude Monet, the father of impressionism, was a master of light. He sometimes painted in series, showing the passage of time with evolving sunlight and shadows." Einstein. "Albert Einstein won a Nobel Prize in Physics for his work in the dual nature of light, behaving like both a wave and a particle, and how this duality explains the photoelectric effect." I love that! Even though Einstein and Monet both worked with light, the only thing their work has

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

'So anyways, I got a great deal on a candle factory from this total sucker and,,, hey, watcha reading'

"Excuse me, where's your glitter lipstick?"

True, I've seen plenty of padded resumes, but very few bejeweled resumes.

"You don't need English on every shot."

"I bedazzled my boobs for your birthday." "Ohhh. Myyyy."

Dancing in tailcoats

'Assuming moral absolutes - good dog.'

Merrily covering everything in glitter...

'So you think a little litter on my eyelids would send out the wrong message?'

"Yeah, but I'm sick of the glitter getting all over everything."

'Ease up a bit on the cue ball.'

'When Roger died, a little light went out.'

"For Mother's Day I decorated the whole kitchen with glitter."

Cricketer uses computer search engine called 'Googly'.

Pessimism Quiz.

"Look, here's one that comes with batteries."

Man shines torch on night sky painting and sees a house.

'We'll be a few minutes late. Ed got a primo parking space and he needs a little gloat time.'

"I hate this stop-and-glow traffic."

Ravers.

No, dear, you didn

'Are you eyeballing me???!! Don't you eyeball me boy!!!'

Sunbathing Trick

'WHOA! Go ahead. Put yours on and see if I'm as ugly.'