Glory Days Re-creator Gifts

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Statue turns into conductor when it snows.

A 1920's film director with hand-cranked camera and megaphone.

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'I'll be the back yard cutting firewood. Have you seen my protective goggles?. . .Well, luckily I kept my old hockey mask!'

Church: Open Sundays

"You're actually passing notes in class? That is so retro!"

'I didn't come to work yesterday because Tuesday is the new Monday.'

Revised Texts

All Washed Up

'Any moree ideas to make me look good?'

"I had a dog but got rid of him when it became clear that he wasn't going to get a job."

Remember last Friday when that substitute teacher showed us movies all day...THOSE were the good old days!

"Oh, sure, high school. I remember now."

'Yeah, I knew Dumpty, I let him take a fall for me, I thought he was hardboiled.'

John Calvin

"First, we tortured them with drunken reveries of our youth."

"I had a very trying day. I tried annoying my teacher, I tried annoying the principal..."

"Whew, am I glad there are more boys than girls in this class!"

Nobility Scooter

"Don't worry, Mom. My mind will bounce back in September."

This is getting waaay too easy...

"I'm sure you have some things you regret doing in elementary school."

'That script to theatre to film to video scenario... I've short cut it.'

'See, dear? I told you it still fits!'

Confessional Options

'I find the whole walking thing a bit overrated.'

'Thought for the day - Go back to bed.'

Little Red Riding Hood Packs a Gun.

'Have you seen this report card? 'Not only is he the most badly behaved boy in his class, but he also has a good attendance record.''

'If I was Little Red Riding Hood I'd give the Big Bad Wolf a good talking to and make him do community service!'