Globetrotter Gifts

'You're not from around here?'

"Now when I go abroad I tell everyone I'm a Canadian goose."

"OK, head on down then take the second lane on the right, hang a left then first right, up ahead is the runway. You can't miss it."

'I say to hell with it. If it can't be said in English, it ain't worth saying at all.'

No... Clocks. DO YOU HAVE CLOCKS? It's a good thing Chuck raised his voice, because Pedro understood loud English.

Airport - You are here ... Your luggage is here.

'Shout louder Dear...he's a foreigner...'

"Nice to meet you. You must excuse me I'm still suffering from jet lag."

"O.K., Mom, I'm off the plane. I'll call you when I check into the hotel, and when I check out of the hotel, when I get on the plane home, and when I get off the plane home, and I'll call you when I'm in the driveway – glad you're not worrying."

John couldn't help but think that his team had a different perspective on the event than he did...

"Thanks for spending me hours showing me all the brochures...now I think I'll go and buy my tour on the internet."

Never say goodbye say ciao!

"Let me put it this in terms you'll understand. First, you'll have to tell me what lanuage you're speaking"

The flight is only 99p but it will cost another ?120 if you want to do it inside the plane.

"It was a terrible holiday, everything was so perfect we couldn't claim anything off our insurance."

"This doesn't look like you."

"'Anywhere' is very popular right now."

"I understand the Everest climb used to be quite a chore."

"I can remember when there was nothing here but polar ice."

'I saved 10 minutes at the hotel with speedy checkout, 10 minutes at the car rental with instant check in. Now I'm spending 6 hours on the runway.'

"We're interested in ocean cruises. The Atlantic for me and the Pacific for him."

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

Welcome Back!

Busy Couple

'You're off the plane, Hal. Put the laptop on your desk.'

'Any restrictions on the amount of luggage you can lose?'

Airline Mergers.

"Not only do they all speak fluent English, but they keep correcting your grammar."

Birds talking about package holiday makers - "Amazing how they find there way back every year."

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

"This is de ja vu all over again. I lost my shirt at the Taj Mahal in Atlantic City."

Airline service.

"It looked a lot bigger in the brochure"