Giver Of Giggles Mugs

'I revel in competition. I have two charities, right now, vying for my $50 donation.'

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"Tia Carmen, if times are tough, how come you're giving money away?"

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

'Who's ready for laughter-- the best medicine?!!!'

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'

'Right, now learn this trick...'

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

Making sure the pitcher is up for the job.

'I've written you a song' - 'Oh, that's very kind of you. What's it called?' - 'It's called 'I'll stay with you forever baby.'' - 'How sweet. Let me hear it...' - 'Ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai,

'Well, so far the only ones to answer our fondue party invitation are the rats in our basement.'

'AAAAH! UDDER LEECH!'

'Blummin' 'eck - a granddad!'

'Oh yeah, I forgot.'

"It's weeder's elbow."

Two breasts: No waiting

'All the demons chipped in to get Satan a gag gift for his birthday.'

'No, we do not make change.'

'Do you realize that you have several passages of scripture right on the tip of your tongue?'

'I can't believe we do this for a living.'

You didn't tell me it was iTheatre...

"You created fire, and this is how you use it?"

"Too righteous?"

'We've put Father O'Brien in charge of minor sins.'

Remember that club you threw last month and couldn't find?

'My first was a 'climber,' too.'

My problem isn't that the key to success is hard to find, it's that the key to failure is always left in the ignition.

Man Blowing Trumpet into Drum

Bob Monkhouse

New! Stick-on Stigmata

Salon of Apartment 4-N

"You can always tell the pediatricians."