Girlfriends Chatting Over Coffee Mugs

"I like my coffee like my men: light and weak."

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

'I have a master's in 17th century Dutch feminist poetry, but I've never really used it.'

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

'I'm looking for people who find me intimidating.'

'But you distinctly said working breakfast.'

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"Sergio, you are the best father in the world. Except, you know, when you're not."

"So have you been watching Bridgerton?"

"Could you repeat all that, I lost you at 'good morning.'"

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

Voting on their Seats

"I'm dating a much younger guy....makes sense, my ex was a cheetah."

Teachers Lounge. That's funny -- I was sure the "No Child Left Behind" act would cover field trips.

"I've been dating this homeless guy..."

'Normally I don't mind regifting but on occasion you get back the same hideous thing you tried to get rid of.'

"If he were just 8 inches taller, 20 years younger,10 times more mature and a million dollars richer, he'd be perfect."

'I've given up on looking for the bluebird of happiness. . . I'd settle for the chicken of contentment!'

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

"Looks like Amazon is going to start delivering babies."

'Well there hasn't been a ring yet! But he did say that we were going to look at bridle wear - so, I know what that means. . . he loves me, Joanne.'

"Wow, I did not see that coming."

"I remember when you could order a cup of coffee in two or three words."

"Remind me what I was talking about—I wasn't listening."

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

'My life began at 40 but my credit problems had a huge head start.'

"The Sculleys, the Jensons, the Walkers, Freedy, Joan, Don and the Bowes. Oh, well, Madame de Stael had to start somewhere."

I went to the book store, drank coffee, listened to some guitar player, talked to a friend, and forgot to buy my book!

'I'm not concerned that coffee might keep me awake all night. I have credit problems that do that for me.'

"If I use twitter to communicate, does that make me a twit?"

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'Do you think I'm conceited?' 'No,why?' 'Girls that are pretty and intelligent sometimes are conceited.'

'But, by not getting married, we've eliminated any chance of divorce.'