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"I guess no car for me this Christmas either."

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

CEO.

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

The Re-Giving Tree

"Read the card! Read the card!"

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

Christmas Dwarves

'My Christmas list-Chapter 1'

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

So what else did you get for your birthday?

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

'It's my stool sample.'

'You're kidding? Your birthday wasn't REALLY six weeks ago was it, darling?'

Tunnel of Dove.

"Honey - this is soooo special!"

"Ever since he saw the new budget he's been obsessing over the numbers."

"Once again Igor is sent out for a brain and once again he brings back the wrong one. This time he returns with the brain of Libby 'Lipsticks' Harris the world kiss chase champion."

'Just what I wanted. Not!'

About Santa 2017.

"I cant do that! Who's gonna deliver the mail?!"

'Where are you, Mrs. Harris? I have another delivery for you.'

"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."

'Eric, who gave me a handmade bookmark for Christmas, gets a 62 percent on the midterm. Ann gave me a mug. She gets a 71. Gina gave me a weekend for two in Vienna. She scored a 98!'

'You remembered our anniversary!'

The wedding-day - first anniversary.

"It's time."

Wife takes blindfolded hubby to vasectomy clinic: 'We're almost there. Happy anniversary...'

I think the real question is, why do I feel I have to give out toys? Can't people like me just for me?

'Yes, son, it's the thought that counts. But I've found it helps if it's an expensive thought.'

'I hope you like it -- it's a stimulus package.'

"The new year is an excellent time to celebrate new beginnings by exchanging gifts with those you love."

"It's a gift for the tooth fairy so I used dental floss instead of ribbon."

T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, it was straight shots all the way.