Gift Guru For Pets T-Shirts

'I know how you love empty boxes.'

Beach con-man.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

Santa called but you were out!

It's a busy mother's day down there! The glucose molecule got his mom a box of sweets, the histamine brought flowers ... A sodium atom got bath salts, and the genes had a family portrait taken. Frank, the neuron didn't get a gift for his mother. No, he didn't but he always sends a nice message!

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Regifts of the Magi

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

Valentines Day truck

Mother using candy cane to pull son away from toy window.

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

'I hope you came with a receipt.'

'What can you suggest for a young lady who thinks she has everything?'

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

"Murchison’s theory is that it’s dog hair in your fuel line.”

"I'm sorry, but until you tell me what you do want for Christmas, you'll keep on getting cats."

'I like going to parties - invited or not.'

Owl Aging Support Groups

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

Gift Ideas. What I get for a man who already has everything? Insurance!

"Do you have all those things in stock?"

"Just tell us what wedding gifts you want and we stuff the appropriate advertising flyers in with the invitation."

Santa carrying a sack full of mail

'We're giving you one big present for your birthday and Christmas.'

Clumping and Non-Clumping Cat Litter

"For Christmas you got me a roll of wrapping paper? And you wrapped it?"

'If you can't think of anything nice to say, how about a gift certificate?'

"You were right, Mom. The new leash has really cured her pulling problem."

"If you're looking for something more expensive we can always raise the price?"