Gift Exchange Strategist T-Shirts

'She'll never know I bought it on Ebay.' 'This is the crap he got me last year that I sold on Ebay.'

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

'We'll also need to do a credit/blame analysis.'

'The whole office is slack-jawed and drooling! It's either a zombie invasion or that smooth jazz you play on the intercom.'

"Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until Monday?"

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

"You know, we've given this same bottle back and forth to each other for so long that it's probably pretty good by now."

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

"I'm going to need to make multiple stops."

'Normally I don't mind regifting but on occasion you get back the same hideous thing you tried to get rid of.'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

This stuff fixes things at home, why not here?

"What do you get for the man who complains about everything?"

December 24th and the December 26th.

"I'm afraid I can't do anything unless you have a receipt."

"He's your rich uncle. What do you buy the caveman who's hunted and gathered everything?"

'... and last, but not least, a big Christmas bonus for Daddy to make sure I get what I want.'

Nothing Personal: Gifts for your business adversaries.

The key to eliminating work-related clutter and stress: Proper Paperwork Triage!

The final secret-santa gift exchange between the Greeks and the Trojans.

"Next time, before buying expensive gifts, be sure there's enough money left to rent your own camels."

"Look what I bought at Ofelia's yard sale."

Santa Claus

'I'm not writing 'gifts optional' on your birthday party invitation again this year 'cause no one got you a gift.'

'Extortion...never. My associates and I prefer to think of these Christmas presents as an insurance policy...'

December 26th . . . The Returns

"Six ideas for $10 or $15 for a dozen."

"If you don't like it you can always use it as another example of how I have no idea who you really are."

"Got a book and a dumb tie from Teresa. What'd you get?"

"I think the tags got switched on our presents."

Two Christmas Stockings - One for Presents, One for Receipts