Gift Critique T-Shirts

"...Now will you believe me! It's too...big!"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

Christmas Presents.

Santa called but you were out!

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

"'Season's Greetings' looks O.K. to me. Let's run it by the legal department."

'They were all out of roses.'

A centipede's Christmas stockings

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

Happy Valentine's.

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

Valentines Day truck

How the gift registry should really work

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

"Tell your assistant it's perfect."

Frankenstein's Monster receiving birthday present.

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

Factory Recall Unicorn.

A gift for me? It's a cape because I think you're a superhero!

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"I always ask for a pony for my birthday. I find it gives the most bargaining room."