Gift Counselor Gifts

"I can't quite picture who would enjoy a gift in that price range."

"He'll expect something nice. I'm his best friend."

'What would you suggest for someone who needs a large tax write-off?'

'Something that gives the illusion of great generosity, without, you know, costing a lot.'

"What do you get the person who wants everything?"

'Does he have any interests besides sex?'

Is it for coercion, exploitation or patronage - or is it just for someone you like?

'I said she might like it.'

'It would help to know how materialistic, how greedy and how egotistical he is.'

"...or, if you're willing to spend a little more, we can arrange a nice, neat takeover."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

The wife whisperer.

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

King Kongs first christmas

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

'It must be good chocolate for six bucks a box.'

Santa called but you were out!

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

CEO.

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

Tipping Pain Chart

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

It's a busy mother's day down there! The glucose molecule got his mom a box of sweets, the histamine brought flowers ... A sodium atom got bath salts, and the genes had a family portrait taken. Frank, the neuron didn't get a gift for his mother. No, he didn't but he always sends a nice message!

Regifts of the Magi

"I'm not going to do any work...cos it's my birthday!"

'And that,and that,and that...'

You just keep giving.

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

Valentines Day truck

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''