Gi Enthusiasts Gifts

'I think I liked it better when you two would go into town on leave and get into trouble.'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

"Got any bathtub gin?"

Storm in a magic lamp.

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

Rock On

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

Of all the gin joints in the world, you are here.

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

Temp Employment Agency. Ah, I see that you have a short attention span.

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

Ghosts from around the world

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

Entrance code to MENSA club - 'To enter, simply type in the square root of Pi.'

'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

"I need a transfer from the wind tunnel departmnet please."

"Again with the wishes? I do and do for you all I ever hear is 'I wish this. I wish that. Gimme, gimme, gimme'!"

'Yeah...all the good bottles were taken.'

"Just come out and talk. I promise I won't wish for anything."

"I wish I could give you a pay rise, a bonus, and an extra week of vacation, but..."

"I guess you haven't been following the news, but I'm gonna need way more than three wishes!"

No, we don't serve rubbing alcohol.

Odd Angles, a monthly strip on coarse angling

Positive Thinking