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Ghosts in the Bath

Zombie standup

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

Fancy a pint?

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

Cat Frankenstein

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"....and hold the garlic."

"Some Debussy, Igor."

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

...your sales are rather anemic

The Zombie Awakes...

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. X.

'Listen up, you ghoul fools, at midnight the mummy takes off the wrappings! Heh heh - just kidding folks, but seriously...'

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

"You shouldn't be here. Your dead - and don't have an appointment."

"Pop, what part of ‘rest in peace’ don’t you understand?!"

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

'Which one do you think Dracula's in?'

Pitching problems.