Geyser Aficionado Pillows

Two geysers-'Old Faithful' and 'Young and Unreliable'.

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

Storm in a magic lamp.

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"The good news is that a delicious stick of jerky is still a very affordable seventy-five cents."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

Angela Merkel

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

"Next time, I'm flying business class."

'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

"I wish I could give you a pay rise, a bonus, and an extra week of vacation, but..."

"Just come out and talk. I promise I won't wish for anything."

"I guess you haven't been following the news, but I'm gonna need way more than three wishes!"

Crimy, Denis, it used to just be you. . . .

'Yeah...all the good bottles were taken.'

Try typing "wishes," then hold down the "command" key.

"Again with the wishes? I do and do for you all I ever hear is 'I wish this. I wish that. Gimme, gimme, gimme'!"

"Wanting to view it after taxes will cost you another wish."

'Simpkins, I'd like to introduce you to the secret of my business success.'

'I really don't think you've evolved enough for nuclear fusion... How about the wheel, instead?'

"We get three wishes. Let's not waste them on something like 'Better coffee in the break room'."

"I admire the way you avoided that radar trap."

"'I wish for this...I wish for that...' No one ever asks what I want!"

'So when do I get to see one of those scenic geysers you've been raving about?'

"Okay, if I can't use my last wish to wish for another three wishes, can I wish that I find another magic lamp?"

'Sorry, kid. Anything but world peace.'

'they must have the same plumber we do.'

'C'mon! How long are we supposed to wait for it to blow?'

'Sorry buddy, no username or password = no wishes!'

Frankie the discount genie