Geyser Aficionado Pillows

Two geysers-'Old Faithful' and 'Young and Unreliable'.

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

Storm in a magic lamp.

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"The good news is that a delicious stick of jerky is still a very affordable seventy-five cents."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

Angela Merkel

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

"Next time, I'm flying business class."

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

"I guess you haven't been following the news, but I'm gonna need way more than three wishes!"

Crimy, Denis, it used to just be you. . . .

"Wanting to view it after taxes will cost you another wish."

'Yeah...all the good bottles were taken.'

"I wish I could give you a pay rise, a bonus, and an extra week of vacation, but..."

'Simpkins, I'd like to introduce you to the secret of my business success.'

'I really don't think you've evolved enough for nuclear fusion... How about the wheel, instead?'

'So when do I get to see one of those scenic geysers you've been raving about?'

"We get three wishes. Let's not waste them on something like 'Better coffee in the break room'."

"I admire the way you avoided that radar trap."

"'I wish for this...I wish for that...' No one ever asks what I want!"

"Okay, if I can't use my last wish to wish for another three wishes, can I wish that I find another magic lamp?"

'Sorry, kid. Anything but world peace.'

'they must have the same plumber we do.'

'C'mon! How long are we supposed to wait for it to blow?'

'Sorry buddy, no username or password = no wishes!'

"We've got kind of a noir thing happening here, Manny. The girlie cigarette doesn't exactly add."

Frankie the discount genie