Getting Insured Pillows

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

'I got all woozy reading the restrictions in my health insurance contract!'

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

Obama Healthcare.

"I just..."

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Single Prayer Health Insurance

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

'Make a patriotic decision. Do you want your son to live in a public health insurance tyranny or do you want to let him die as a free American who doesn't have the money to pay for medical treatment?'

Healthy Patients Only

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

Catastrophe Risk Insurance