Getting A Puppy Mugs

Ask Sadie. My wife and I are getting a puppy soon. Any training tips? - Jay and Emily, Charlotte, NC. Sent from my iPad. Oh yes. A tip: Have him poop on your @#$% iPad, you high-tech boobs! Irrelevant and gratuitous. Sent from my lungs. You need the toothbrush app.

Love is... when your puppy licks you face without knowing where it's been.

To them it's just a Prada handbag

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Bitchbark Canoe

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Pick me!"

Licensed Therapist

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"Quick, start the car!"

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Nothing beats the love of a good cat.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Love a Mutt

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

Updated Nursery Rhyme #27.

'Super Dog'

"Man's best friends."

'Works every time.'

'She's just great with the children.'

A man and his dog

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."