Getting A New Dog Pillows

"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"

Food, Water And Tips

'You drive a hard bargain, but okay -- newspaper pipe, AND slippers.'

Four Star Meal

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

"I heart the air in my hair!"

'It's not a bad deal, really. We get free food and shelter, and all we have to do is take the blame for their farts.'

Caution- Watch Out For Drool.

English Pointers giving pointers.

"I understand everything he says, but I've found that maintaining a blank expression results in less work."

People with pet dogs in a dog park with workout equipment for dogs.

'I love playing fetch, but sometimes worry that I'm the only one getting the exercise. I suppose what I'm trying to say is, hey, best friend, why don't you fetch this one.'

'Maybe we should rethink this new dog door.'

'Because they don't have Montessori Schools for dogs.'

Obedience School - Scratch Before Entering.

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

'The grin is guaranteed for three months.'

'I am SO getting my ass kicked at the dog park.'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

House Broken.

"Quick, start the car!"

'Works every time.'

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

'Eat boy, eat!... I taught him that one myself.'

'...let's go and buy a dog!'

'I'll be in the park. Where's the Pooper Scooper?'

Toilet for dogs.

'You've got my chair, my bed, my house. . . how about letting me have the backyard?'

Dog runs after slingshot as he would a stick.

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"Is your dog friendly or socially maladjusted?"

"Remember when we were young and could finish a round without one of us having to run off to mark his territory?"

"My New Years resolution was to think before barking, which gave the burglars plenty of time to clobber me and clean out the house."

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'