Getting A New Dog Gifts

"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"

Food, Water And Tips

'You drive a hard bargain, but okay -- newspaper pipe, AND slippers.'

Four Star Meal

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

"I heart the air in my hair!"

'It's not a bad deal, really. We get free food and shelter, and all we have to do is take the blame for their farts.'

English Pointers giving pointers.

Caution- Watch Out For Drool.

'The grin is guaranteed for three months.'

'I love playing fetch, but sometimes worry that I'm the only one getting the exercise. I suppose what I'm trying to say is, hey, best friend, why don't you fetch this one.'

'Maybe we should rethink this new dog door.'

'Because they don't have Montessori Schools for dogs.'

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

Obedience School - Scratch Before Entering.

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

House Broken.

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"I understand everything he says, but I've found that maintaining a blank expression results in less work."

People with pet dogs in a dog park with workout equipment for dogs.

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

"My New Years resolution was to think before barking, which gave the burglars plenty of time to clobber me and clean out the house."

"Remember when we were young and could finish a round without one of us having to run off to mark his territory?"

"Is your dog friendly or socially maladjusted?"

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

'You've got my chair, my bed, my house. . . how about letting me have the backyard?'

Toilet for dogs.

'Sure, I could be independent, but it's so much nicer to allow myself to be spoiled rotten by Mistress...'

"Quick, start the car!"

'Works every time.'

'I heard him mention your name, what does neutered, mean?'

'I'll be in the park. Where's the Pooper Scooper?'

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

'Eat boy, eat!... I taught him that one myself.'

'...let's go and buy a dog!'