Germaphobe's Guide Pillows

Fair readers, please accept these personal tips for remaining healthy and germ free. Public service announcement! Keep your stress low. Exercise, eat right, hydrate and try to get a little affection in your life, if you get my meaning. If you use someone else's computer, wipe down the keyboard with alcohol to kill the germs. Ditto with the mouthpiece of a borrowed cellular phone. Don't touch anything or anyone. Bathe yourself in hand sanitizer. Don't leave the house, and if you do, don't inhale

Book Signing Today: Living With Infectious Disease: My Story.

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Gesundheit.'

HELLth Food Sprouts

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

Wash your hands

"No Hand Sanitiser"

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

"The penicillin looks good."

Soap Versus Coronavirus

'...and I'm telling you that Budgie sneezed!!'

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

'We've got a new DNA database...'

Want to hear a secret? Every time they put a nut in my mouth, I give it a little lick.

Shaking hands will transfer bacteria

'I'm afraid you've got a computer virus.'

"Aways the victim."

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his, and he caught yours."

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'

'Colds! Sore throats! Flue! Did anyone ever tell you you're a hypochondriac?'

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

There was a nasty bug going around.

'If I keep bringing diseases home from school, maybe I shouldn't go to school.'

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."