German Traditions Gifts

"His name is Fritz and he is into Shmaltz!"

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Paul Ree

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"Did you check the little patch of grass by the swing set?"

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"I noticed a few browns."

'I'm dreaming of a green Christmas, with every recycled Christmas card I write...'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

Merry Kissmas

Here is our spot, I sink, Helga.

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

'I think we're all safe now. Go ahead and say spatlese.'

Easter Bunny!

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

"Trust me – she's a witch."

'You can forget about the fertility dance this year - we've already got ten kids!'

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"

Centaur becomes pantomime horse

Brunhilde

'You have your Boxing Day dip and I'II have mine...'

Brothers Grimm

"Too much salt?! Hey, I put a lot of sweat and tears into making that Christmas Pudding!"

"I'm a little angel when I'm asleep. Does that count?"

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

Food Cooked. Nerves raw.

Carl Maria von Weber

'This is just a holiday tradition - It's nothing personal.'

"Tell me again why we couldn't get an Easter bunny."

Darning the Stockings