Geriatric Guru Mugs

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Self help acupuncture

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'My electric car is giving me static!'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

National Academy of Sport

Congratulations on the new you!

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

Inflating Boobs.

Kirsten Johnson

'I gotta lose some weight.'

Organic Soldering.

Keep Fit.

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'