Geopolitical Pundit Pillows

"Central America, the Balkans... such small countries... no reason we can't buy at least one of them."

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Hate Platforms

"Nation-building never works."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

In the Guru District

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Neo-International Law

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Away with the warmonger!"

Israel/Palestine Conflict

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

Trump Poutine

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

Where does it all end up?

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

US and the EU

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

Obama Healthcare.

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.