Geometric Magician T-Shirts

Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool? That's on of those things you always see an alpha male do: stand around a pool hall polishing his stick and racking up the balls.

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

The Life of Pi

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Desert Island BBQ

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

Primitive magician

"I can't believe he brought her."

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:

"I just need help getting the pit out."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

I tried working with Houdini, but he wanted me to escape from a straight-jacket before jumping out of the hat...

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"Trust me. Don't do it."

Magic Tricks

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

Magic Tricks

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."