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"First I need your account number, and then the name and location of your offshore bank."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.

Storm in a magic lamp.

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

"Are we really gonna do this?!"

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

Aladdin and the magic telemarketer lamp. Your first 3 wishes are free!* *By accepting wishes, user agrees to lifetime monthly charges, activation fees, and all applicable taxes.

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

"Then one day I thought, what the hell?! Maybe it's time I started granting a few of my own wishes."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

Leonardo's first drawing

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

"Only three wishes, eh? Well, let's see what my lawyer has to say about that!"

Genie Barbecue.

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

Candle Moment

'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

'Yeah...all the good bottles were taken.'

"I think I'm falling in love."

No, we don't serve rubbing alcohol.

Try typing "wishes," then hold down the "command" key.

"Just come out and talk. I promise I won't wish for anything."

"I guess you haven't been following the news, but I'm gonna need way more than three wishes!"

"Again with the wishes? I do and do for you all I ever hear is 'I wish this. I wish that. Gimme, gimme, gimme'!"

"I wish I could give you a pay rise, a bonus, and an extra week of vacation, but..."