
"I'd like Donald Trump to act like an adult."
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"I'd like Donald Trump to act like an adult."
"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"
"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"
Vlad the Inhaler
Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight
The Loch Ness Rowing Team
"Bigfoot"
'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'
Giant using sheep as cotton buds
Another Bigfoot sighting...
'...this is Loch Lomand!'
Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'
"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."
"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."
'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'
I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.
"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"
"Honey, where's the baby?" "The first voyage of Sinbad"
Buoyed by his past success, William Tell sought even greater challenges,
"Tonight we are going out to plunder, lads!"
'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'
Storm in a magic lamp.
"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"
"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."
"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."
The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.
"Well, who's stupid idea was it to honeymoon on Moonlight bay?!"
"Do I have to go out again!?"
"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."
St Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland.
"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."
"Is it starve a fever and feed a cat? Or feed a fever and starve a cat?"
"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"
"I'm referring you to an old gypsy woman."
"I'm getting too old for this..."
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