Genie Curiosities Pillows

...It's always been three wishes.

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

Storm in a magic lamp.

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"Then one day I thought, what the hell?! Maybe it's time I started granting a few of my own wishes."

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

Genie Barbecue.

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

"To meet the girl of your dreams, swipe right on the lamp."

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

'Funny thing is, in an infinite universe with infinite possibilities, this is actually happening!'

'He has a learning disorder.'

"I wish I could give you a pay rise, a bonus, and an extra week of vacation, but..."

'Yeah...all the good bottles were taken.'

"Wanting to view it after taxes will cost you another wish."

"I guess you haven't been following the news, but I'm gonna need way more than three wishes!"

Aladdin's Cave of Wonder

'Simpkins, I'd like to introduce you to the secret of my business success.'