Genie Curiosities Pillows

...It's always been three wishes.

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.

Storm in a magic lamp.

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

"Then one day I thought, what the hell?! Maybe it's time I started granting a few of my own wishes."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

Genie Barbecue.

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

"To meet the girl of your dreams, swipe right on the lamp."

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

'Funny thing is, in an infinite universe with infinite possibilities, this is actually happening!'

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

'He has a learning disorder.'

Just a sec – I want to see which wishes get the most likes before I decide.

"Wanting to view it after taxes will cost you another wish."

Try typing "wishes," then hold down the "command" key.

Aladdin's Cave of Wonder

"Just come out and talk. I promise I won't wish for anything."

'Yeah...all the good bottles were taken.'

"I guess you haven't been following the news, but I'm gonna need way more than three wishes!"

No, we don't serve rubbing alcohol.

"Again with the wishes? I do and do for you all I ever hear is 'I wish this. I wish that. Gimme, gimme, gimme'!"

"I wish I could give you a pay rise, a bonus, and an extra week of vacation, but..."