Generational Irony Lover Gifts

'Oi son, you're not going out dressed like that.'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

Why Cows Leave Home

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

"We're neither software nor hardware. We're your parents."

Perfection Troubleshootors.

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

You're certain you've had plenty of experience serving in a fine dining restaurant?

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"I hope there's nothing genetically modified in this."

The Boss of the Kleptomania Clinic has turned up for work only to discover his Clinic has been stolen

If found please return to mountain