Genealogical Guru T-Shirts

'They're from my mother's side of the family.'

Mother Cyclops: 'He has your eye,'

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

Several generations live together in Cuba

Family DNA

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

Welsh airport arrivals.

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

'He's got your nose.'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

DNA Analysis.

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

Frankenstein's Ancestry

"That's lovely darling, but I don't think that's what your teacher meant when she asked you to draw your family tree..."

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

'ADN'

"You get your hair from your father's side..."

Jerk Gene

'I find it harder and harder to get any work done with all the ethicists hanging around.'

Taken genetic engineering too far

"Some genetic engineers we turned out to be!"

"Ma didn't want to leave out anyone."

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

'The Algenist meets the Alchemist.'

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

"Sure, my dad and my granddad and my granddad's dad were all domesticated. But that doesn't mean I have to be."

"Yeah, my great-grandpa was shell-shocked in World War One too..."

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'