Gene Junkies Pillows

'Medical researcher have isolated the gene that makes us want to discuss our ailments with anyone we meet.'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

Gene Therapy

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

One of Many California Gene Pools

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

Ideas that failed: Goliath Goats.

'Darling, we were made for each other.'

DNA Xmas.

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

Genetic Manipulation

'You may share 85% of your genetic material with him, but I share 5% tops.'

Baldness Facts

An inbred poodle.

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

Brian works in stem cell research

"Cloning is all very well in theory, but do you have any proof it can actually work?"

'I'm afraid our worst suspicions have been confirmed - we found slug, snail and a trace amount of puppydog tail.'

'Happy New Ear!'

Dolly, Twenty Years Later

Elementary Genetics

"I don't know whether we should keep it a secret or call the world press!?"