Gene Jokester Gifts

'Medical researchers have isolated the gene that makes us want to discuss our ailments with everyone we meet.'

You inserted donkey DNA into an insect? I made a braying mantis!

'No, what you have is the abdicate-responsibility-and-blame-it-on-the-genes gene.'

'We've isolated the gene for breadcrumbs!'

"Hangovers are mostly a matter of heredity."

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

''Yeah, mine's a rescue dog too.''

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

"I've got writer's block."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

This condition could be hereditary - does stupidity run in your family?

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

Some card-game puns

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'