Gender Dynamics Analyst Gifts

(Phil Hanson and the Philettes)

'Ms. Parker, who undercooked these numbers?'

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

"Is there any insanity in the family?"

"Now there's a relationship that's working!"

Men explained.

"Behold! My greatest improvement to fatherhood. She cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, burps, and farts. What's more...she self-identifies as a father!"

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

'We have irreconcilable differences -- he's a MAN!'

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

Complaints departement for men and women.

"I want to know why when I'm in a room people ignore me."

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

'Yes, I wanted a knight in shining armour, but I didn't know it'd be me doing all the shining!'

"In our little socioeconomic group, I've always taken care of the socio and John's done the economic."

'Would it upset you is I said I'm not bothered if your heart isn't in it?'

Abstraction and recognition

"There's no way God ever intended man to shove a pillow into a pillowcase!"

"We couldn't do this before the iron age."

'The uterus transplant was a success. I'm sure you'll find your husband much more understanding now.'

"He must be very secure in his masculinity."

"I know it's only a social construct but shall we see if we can get it big and hard?"

"Has it ever occurred to you that you might be my trophy husband?"

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

'I'm normally a leg man, but in your case.'

Underwear Man and his disgruntled sidekick Laundry Woman

'I tried to get him to reinvent himself, but he said he couldn't get a patent.'

'I have a feeling, gentlemen, that you don't take having a female boss that seriously.'

Failed first careers: Sigmund Freud. Vienna Advertising Agency. We're going to have to let you go, Freud. You just don't know what women want.

'I got in touch with my feminine side and totally grossed it out.'

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

'Women pick things up! We take action! We can't stand to see a ball just sitting there in our court collecting dust!'

"I knew it: The ladies win the World Cup, and now they want to win everything."

"I married a girl with two mums and ended up with two mothers-in-law."