Geckos Pillows

"It's those eyes."

Gecko small talk: 'Whenever I stick to glass, I really amaze them.'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Showbiz Awards

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Herman Mankiewicz

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

Stand-up Romcom

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

The Age of Reptiles. . .

"Can you believe you left your job and family to search for this key, and it was under here the whole time?"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

Canadian film production

Watch the skies: UFO buffs all stare at the sky, yet alien is amongst them.

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

"Looks like a pretty quiet night out there, huh, girl?"