Gear Guardian T-Shirts

'Because I paid ten bucks for that lure, that's why.'

'I fell out of my treestand but fortunately nothing got hurt.'

The Jeopardy of Progress

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

The Computer Bore

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

The Zoo.

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Google car."

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"Mom, please shake my chair. I'm taking a virtual school bus ride before class begins."

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"Tommy!"

CEO with SEO

Evolution.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'Humans & Lemmings have a lot in comon...'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'