Gear Guardian Pillows

'Because I paid ten bucks for that lure, that's why.'

'I fell out of my treestand but fortunately nothing got hurt.'

The Jeopardy of Progress

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

The Computer Bore

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

The Zoo.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"Mom, please shake my chair. I'm taking a virtual school bus ride before class begins."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"Tommy!"

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

Evolution.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

'Humans & Lemmings have a lot in comon...'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

e-shoes