Gazillion Gossiper T-Shirts

'I had always thought a gazillion was some made up number.'

'Teenagers!'

Long before the GPS, traveling humans found their way around by using an Atlas.

Man Dreaming Of Australia.

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

Horror Stories.

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"The only think we'll be able to shoot at soon will be that right to roam lot..."

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

Toy skier jumps from snow globe to miniature winter scene.

"We're looking toward the Paci?c Rim, Green?eld. What the hell are you doing?"

'He says he's training to be a world champion weightlifter - With a knife and fork.'

'So when do I get to see one of those scenic geysers you've been raving about?'

'they must have the same plumber we do.'

The Globe

"Someday I'll buy a little place in the country and take my finger off the Zeitgeist."

"... And in other news: Still no truce at 75 Greene Street, apartment 3F."

Crime and punishment - football.

"I hear he's made from yellow snow..."

'Another unsolved problem - where the money come from to run this place.'

Thank You For Not Interrupting My Endless Stream of Chatter.

"I'm not just playing video games--I'm contributing to the zeitgeist of the times."

I just edited your Wikipedia entry. Whoopty doo. Tap tap tap tap tap. You'll be happy to know you are no longer the last of your kind, Sadie. Astronomers have discovered another supermassive black hole that expels nearly as much hot air as you do. You're now listed under "oppressive objects that burp out galactic gas." I will exact revenge at a time and place of my choosing.

Having Fame and Fortune thrust upon him, Gordy is forced to advertise for an entourage.

"The GPS has three voice modes: Wilderness Whisper, Country Conversation, and City Shriek."

"Yeah, that Bernice...she's got her nose in everybody's business."

Increasing world population

Globes

' What Austrian bio-chemist is wasting his time with false anti-body leads?' Say - our journal has a gossip column!'

Fish to fish in bowl: 'I'm worried about break and entry by the cat!'

"Not so much as a mention on Wikileaks."

I'd like somewhere unpretentious....

Holes: regular, black, with cream.

Aw c'mon, still no reception!