Gavel Gourmets T-Shirts

'We're ready to order... ORDER!'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

Ghostbasters 3

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

Justice 4 Ron

"I asked my mother to pack my parachute and she packed my lunch instead."

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'I really love this stuff, but I still have a lot of trouble with sushi.'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

French bread

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

'You are charged with contempt of CNN....'

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten! (Published previously September 25, 2006.)

"He feels the honey-citrus glaze overpowers the plum."

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

Late library book. Judge says, 'I don't think you're taking this seriously'.

Judge knocking at 'audits' so that 'CPA's' lose their money

'I predict they go with an insanity defense.'

"I-800-DOGYLAW"

Eating the Cocktail Olive

"Now tell me your legal problem very slowly, with every detail, no matter how irrelevant. Feel free to digress, babble and, especially, backtrack."

I could only get a settlement of £50,000 and you get some of it.

'...Plus six months for breaking my little hammer!'

The Ghost of Food

Down by Law