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"Order! Order!"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

Justice 4 Ron

Lady Justice.

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

'You are charged with contempt of CNN....'

"If the 'Disorderly Conduct' charge is dropped, your Honor, my client will plead guilty to the lesser charge of 'Zany Antics'."

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten! (Published previously September 25, 2006.)

God playing with dolls.

Other than a high chair, what qualifies you to sit in judgment? A lethal gavel.

"No, I'm not calling for order in the court. I'm tenderizing a porterhouse steak. Do continue, counselor."

'We're ready to order... ORDER!'

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

You ever wonder what would've happened if Nintendo had never existed? There'd have been no Mario Bros., and since Sega created Sonic to compete, there'd be no Sonic. And without those, the market wouldn't have been big enough to interest Sony. So … no Playstation. And no Playstation, no Xbox. Several generations of awkward teens would've had to come up with other excuses not to go outside. Sometimes I wonder if it rained where I grew up.

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

Late library book. Judge says, 'I don't think you're taking this seriously'.

'If you don't stay seated, I'll have to use my pop-up blocker.'

Judge knocking at 'audits' so that 'CPA's' lose their money

'I predict they go with an insanity defense.'