Gastronomy Jokester T-Shirts

'Do you have anything that looks like a cantaloupe but tastes like a cheesecake?'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Bangers and Mash

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

Don't go out in the rain without an umbrella....was probably not 'his idea' of a tip, dear!'

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

Onion operation.

International House of Excrement

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

'Can't we have something other than curry for a change?'

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

'I wish you'd make those meatballs a little lighter; they hurt!'

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'

Yes, the salad was vegan. In fact, we even offered it first to all the bunnies in the area, each of whom insisted that, no, he was quite full, and he'd like you to have it.

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

'Waiter! There's no hair in my soup!'

'I told you rosemary and sage, but don't add the garlic until the last half hour.'

Chef Contest. Ernie, it's not sporting to chant "batter, batter, batter" during a pancake cook-off.

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'It's actually cheaper than the bait shop.'

"What will change my life?"

"Oh, how nice. You're just in time to cut the vegetables,"

"The Blueberry Bagel, having triumphed on the East Coast, heads West."

"I can recommend the steak if you've got your own teeth."

"The trick to this particular dish is not letting your mother mess it up."