Gastronomy Giggles T-Shirts

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

"Something this big."

... Harold at the stomach pump.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"I might just get a pie."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"There's a caterpillar in my food."

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

'Would that be rare, or medium rare?'

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

"Just a heads-up, the Mushroom and Crab Risotto doesn't like its photo taken."

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

"What will change my life?"

"Some volcano roll!"

"If you tasted like a Umami, where would you be hiding?"

Vegetarian restaurant: 'Two vegetarians please.'

'I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

"This artificial flavouring doesn't taste like artificial flavouring."

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

"Leave room for sex."

"This smells really funny. Is that going to be a problem for you?"

'Waiter? You're in my soup!'

Turkey Goes Into Dressing Room and Comes Out Cooked

"So you hired them to do the tidying up?"