Gastric Bypass Awareness Supporter Pillows

"Believe me, babe, you'll be sorry after my gastric bypass."

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'You have an 85% chance of surviving this and 20% chance of wishing you hadn't.'

"It wasn't a carcinoma at all- it was just an itty-bitty attorney."

Joint Replacement Specialist has 3 boxes on desk: "Hip", "Hip", "Hooray."

"The surgery went well. You'll be issued a 'Contains No Nuts' card upon discharge."

"I'm going to have to make this quick, God. I just ask that you watch over me during my double knee replacement tomorrow."

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

"Dangerous? Nah, I could count on one hand the number of times he's bitten me."

"They're expecting their first baby by surrogate mother!"

'Couldn't Jack Spratt eat polyunsaturated fat?'

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

Gastrique Bypass

New You Plastic Surgery. That's right, doctor, I gave her the bill and her nose went right out of joint again.

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. The anesthesiologist is on vacation."

"Hey, I'm just happy the transplant worked at all."

'Gee!'

'I'll donate them to ANYONE but a DOG.'

'If it has the word 'ectomy' after it, I've already had it.'

'I'll try to get sent off early luv, so I can take you to the hospital for your operation.'

'Don't worry. That questionnaire is a lot more intrusive than your surgery will be.'

Confidence.

Cow Udders and Famines.

"... and that this ham we're eating has enough sodium to give us high blood pressure. That's what I learned in school today."

surrogates Mothers Association (wombs to let)

"Have you considered spinal fusion?"

'I told you you'd be out cold for the whole operation.'

"Will you be our surrogate?"

Clinic for those with one leg - Wipe your foot.

'Go figure, somebody uses my foot as a lucky charm: I don't feel lucky myself...'

Clinic For Those With One Leg: Wipe Your Foot.

Large lady reading a large print book.