Garlic Gladiator Pillows

'I won the garlic eating competition.'

Prize vegetables.

Rage.

Neighbor Leaf Wars

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"Everything's gone up."

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

American Football.

Biker Lawn Mower

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

Punishment for the kicker.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Boy defends his last fry.

"I warned you before you bought it, John, that the plant is aggressive!"

Football.

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

Human males marking territory.

A boxing match between Apple Brown Betty and Apple Pan Dowdy

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"There's got to be an easier way to kill the moss in a lawn"

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

Football Blockers.

"Something with enough depth to taste like success to me and shame to him."