Gardening Minimalist T-Shirts

'Low maintenance gardening'

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

"Not to mention the park view."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

Tonite: Gala Costume Party. Got your costume for the big party? No, I'll just part my hair on the other side and go as my own reflection.

Spring in Japan.

Bonsai Exhibit

If we build raised beds and a compost bin now

'He took a fetching class.'

Sock Abduction

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

How's this mulch for improving my soil? Not good. It's full of toxic wood chips. They poison the dirt and don't decompose. Just what I need. Subprime loam.

"The tiny red things were harvested from Frankie's bonsai tree."

'Like I'm going to give this up to migrate.'

The Farmer Sutra.

'Don't wear that shirt in the garden dear. Roses don't fit in with my planting scheme'

Sophisticated garden - low maintenance garden

Dun Decking

Chelsea flower show sewage

Hipster Yard

"I suppose, you being a cartoonist, vertical gardening is just another way to get column inches."

"Says here tiny houses are the hot new trend. Didn't I always tell you we're ahead of our time, Doris?"

"Make it a gallon and a half. I'm living one day at a time."

"So your argument is that a virtual reality headset showing an image of a mown lawn is cheaper than buying a lawnmower."

Genetically Modified Apples

Hat Swap

'It's nice when people give Christmas presents that you appreciate.'

'Every Lent it's the same-I've nothing to give up!'

'It's the only way to get to see their more inaccessible plants!'

'Too small for Santa I'm afraid-but with a fishing rod you would be a WOW in our roof garden!'

Bonsai Gardener

"Don't forget your five a day."

"What if I called the three outfits that fit me a 'capsule wardrobe'."