Garden Joke Appreciator Gifts

Fork in the Road

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

What's an Imax cave?

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Laughing Zone Ahead

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Florist. A vase for everything and everything in its vase.

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

'I'm counter - intelligence'

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Split the last one?

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

"Calm down! That was a massive fart, NOT a sneeze!"

Due to Global Warming Penguins have been Spotted Far from their Natural Habitat

Medicine bottle - If symptoms persist, die!

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

OMG.

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

'I'd probably do a lot better if the teachers weren't set to 'auto-correct.''

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

Smart 3 Piece Suite.

"He can be a real charmer when he wants to be."

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

Holy Ronald Reagan. Do you see who's come into the cafe? Reagan? No, it's Johnny Spinwell. The king of spin! Who? Consultant to politicians, stars, lawyers, corporate execs. No one finds the bright side like Johnny. Pea brain, you stepped on my toe. I got your circulation going to save your heart.