Garden Chore Fanatic T-Shirts

'If you want me, honey, I'll be out here in the orchard.'

A man washing a mascot costume

Extreme Sisyphus

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

Washing Line Walker

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

Bird family on top of birdhouse surveying back yard: 'This place has all the amenities, including a master bath in the yard by the Zinnias.'

Looks like I do dishes again.

"Leave your weekends open. I'll be dropping a lot more of these."

"Just empty it."

"Thank you, sir."

Leaf Blower Showdown.

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

"When it comes to blowing leaves around uselessly and creating an insane amount of noise, this model can't be beat."

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

Unwanted Guests

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

'Stop complaining - at least it keeps you out of the kitchen.'

'Why don't you use a leaf blower? It annoys the hell out of people.'

"Jim loves the snow, Mum, it's the only time the garden looks as tidy as next doors..."

Beware of unexploded fireworks when burning rubbish.

The Gardener's Calendar: Start up the Engine

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

'Just so you know, you're doin' it wrong.'

'Washing dishes, why?'

"Laundry day?"

'All right, I'm done thawing out the freeze, now what was it you couldn't wait to tell me about finally finding two snowflakes that are exactly alike?'

'I got the idea when I was blowing my leaves.'

'That Riding Vacuum has given our marriage a spark I didn't think was possible.'

Presents.