Garden Chaos Architect T-Shirts

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Face painting.

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Cookbooks

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

How to Build a Bungalow

"Well, since his retirement from British Aerospace the only thing he's managed to do is build a bird table

"Jeepers, what happened to your power cord?"

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

"It's a letter from the council, about our window box."

"I got you some flowers..watered them, too.".

"And I suppose cleaning up after yourself just once would in some way stifle your precious creativity."

Mixed marriage: food fight

Falling for art

"I'm running a loose ship."

A Cartoonist's and a Sculptor's File Cabinets.

"The garden is my résumé."

"You've really outdid yourself this time. A real masterpiece!"

Hedgecutter cutting a hedge 'key' into a hedge 'door'

"Too busy."

Paint fight art!

'This Marine Cooking School taught me a great recipe, Mom... you take one-hundred pounds of potatoes...'

'My therapist suggested I redirect my anger into landscaping and gardening!'

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

"The weatherman said it was important to stay cool but now I've got my foot stuck in the butter."

'Well, you told me not to walk through the kitchen in muddy boots!'

"I like to be disciplined about my writing, sharpening my pencils and organising my desk in the morning which leaves me time for writers block after lunch and a nervous breakdown in the evening."